When people ask me about what my dating life has been like and about what I am looking for, the one thing I go back to is the movie, Jerry McGuire. “You complete me.” Ugh. If anyone ever tells me that, you will find me in the hills, because I ran there as fast as I could. That is too much pressure to put on someone…to complete you. I’m still growing, still evolving, but won’t I always be? We are all a work in progress, but that doesn’t mean we aren’t a whole person without the help of someone else. So, my answer is usually that I want to be with someone that complements me.
When I look up the definition of complement, the first definition is”a thing that completes or brings to perfection.” Well crap. I don’t need someone to complement me. I am whole. The best word I could find is enhance. Definition, “intensify, increase or further improve the quality, value or extent of.” The answer is, I want to be with someone with whom we enhance one another. So, I don’t love that value is in the definition. Other than monetary, no one is going to increase my value as a person.
Dating isn’t different than friendship though. After all, aren’t we seeking friends who enhance us as well? I want to surround myself with people with whom we mutually improve the quality of our lives. I look at my friends. We are all so different. I heard this description once and it`s perfect. We are similar yet so different, like the unmatched socks in our laundry baskets. We are all searching for something a little bit different, we may all have different values and beliefs, we all have different career paths. But, even though we are different, we have a respect for one another where we are comfortable sharing what our interests are. A vast majority of my friends would never call a man Sir, nor do they enjoy the delicious sting of a riding crop as it leaves welts on your back side. Yet not a single friend makes me feel ashamed or less than them because of it. In fact, my friends and family are the reason I felt comfortable sharing that journey with everyone. I have been so comfortable sharing my journey because I realized, what do I have to lose? I don’t expect everyone to follow my path and I don’t expect everyone to think it’s the right path. However, it’s the path I have chosen for myself and I have absolutely no regrets. If you can’t accept that about me, you probably don’t enhance my life.
No, I will never need someone to complete me. I’m not a project for some man to come in to fix. I don’t want to be fixed. Any brokenness I have is part of what makes me whole. That brokenness is what created this strong, independent woman. Right now, I have exactly what I need in my life. My friends and family are incredible. No one fixes. They support and encourage. My Sir, well, unless you are into a Power Exchange, there is no way to describe it. The bond is incredibly strong, and we make decisions together. He knows when I am down as I know when He is down. We don’t try to change each other. We accept each other and we have an unspoken knowledge of what we need.
I am absolutely complete but I continue to grow and learn more about myself every day. I am finding the things I learn about myself are pretty awesome. My alone time allows for a lot of self reflection. I was an acquired taste for myself. It took a lot of time for me to like myself. But now, I am the only one that can complete myself.