Let’s have a chat about sex. It’s not a bad word. It’s not evil. It’s a part of life and I believe we should be open-minded about what is around us. It may not be your thing, but it’s someone else’s thing and who are we to judge. After all, there are more important things to look at in a person than their preferences in bed or their orientation or how they identify…like, how do they treat people.
I have been very open about the life I live. My family knows, my friends know, my kids don’t want to know, but, since they are adults, if they ever asked, I would be open with them. I used to be very afraid to share with others. What would people think? But I have reached a point in my life where I am all out of fucks to give.
I was outed at my weekend job by an ex. We had all made jokes about things, but that was all they were….jokes. But then he showed them pictures of a party we went to. It was pictures with the BDSM implements on the walls and he talked about what I was into. I was hurt and embarrassed and tried to use humor to let it go. The thing is, I wasn’t the only one with kinks in that relationship. I promised I wouldn’t share his secrets with our co-workers and I have not. While my co-workers joked with me about it, they never treated me any different, I was angry. That was never his to share. It was a huge breach of trust.
Then, I shared with my girlfriends. Let me tell you…they were amazing!!!! We had some fantastic laughs, but they never once made me feel judged. While I don’t shout from the rooftops that I am kinky (I only shout it from my blog, LOL), I am very open about it. I love that my friends and family that know can ask me anything, and they do. My family is very open about asking me questions also. You see, whether you are mortified by what my lifestyle is, or you think I am a slut, you are most likely a little bit curious about it. I will never say I am an expert on anything. But I am always happy to answer questions. There is so much misunderstanding with this lifestyle. There should be no place to judge unless you know.
I choose to remain sex-positive and to have a great sense of humor about it. I love when my girlfriends send me a dating profile and ask me to translate. The last profile was a Daddy Dom and Bull who was looking for a submissive or brat. My girlfriend sent, “Hey, not interested, but what does this all mean?” I have been asked what it is that draws me to pain. Is it safe? What is a sex dungeon like? Do I really call someone Sir? What the heck is a munch?
I would love to open up healthy conversation about anything you are curious about. I am not looking to convert anyone. I would just love people to have a better understanding. You see, this lifestyle is not evil, nor should it be looked down on. It is a lifestyle that preaches consent. That is filled with exit plans if something goes awry. It’s an inclusive lifestyle (gay, straight, bi, trans, furry, horsey, cuckhold)…all are welcome and accepted. I won’t lie and say there aren’t assholes in the lifestyle. I mean, it isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. Nothing is perfect.
Ask questions. I will answer anything. I will probably throw in some jokes. I have a very crude sense of humor. But I find that laughter can make even the most uncomfortable of conversations more comfortable. Post a message here on the blog or feel free to send me an IM on Facebook if you are reading this from my Facebook post.