True story. I was once told that when I said “I love you” it didn’t mean a thing. Ouch!!! When the person to whom you are married tells you your words mean nothing, that can be pretty hurtful. You see, I meant those words every time I said them. But I stopped saying them. Not just to him, but to others around me. My family. It was very rare those words fell from my lips. The only ones I didn’t stop saying it to were the kids. I was raised on “I love you” and I was never made to feel bad about it.
When I went to New Mexico, with my then husband, for a hunting trip. We would go to visit his guide’s family. Whenever the guide left or if he got off the phone with someone, he said, I love you. My ex asked him if he always said it. His guide seemed confused. He said, “Of course I do. What if I never get the chance to say it again.” This was only a few months before we separated. Hearing this guide say that, made me realize I wasn’t the issue.
When I learned to stop caring what people thought, I found those words again. I started to say it again to my family. I was able to be free with my words. But I also took time to think about who I could be free with those words. I realized I didn’t need to stop and think about who would hear those words from my lips. Because I don’t need to reserve the phrase for special occasions. I should be able to say it when I feel it.
So, when I say those words to you, it’s because I wear my heart on my sleeve and I feel that love. I won’t say it if I don’t. So, I let the words flow, if I feel it. But don’t be surprised if I ask if I say it too much. While I am very open with my feelings, I still feel the insecurity of being told I say it too much. I would never want them to lose their meaning. But the truth is, when I say goodbye to someone I love, I will always tell them I love them. Because, at the end of the day, I would much rather say it too much, than miss out and never have the chance to say them again.